Making Up For It
by alana-rose1
Summary: It had been a simple request, unfortunately simple is not the outcome!FFSlash warning SaraCatherine 13 for the moment.


**Disclaimer: **

I don't own the characters involved here, i.e. Catherine or Sara they belong exclusively to CBS – Hurrah to CBS! I don't make any money, and I promise to give them back once I've finished playing with them

**Notice: **This story does contain f/f plots, for the moment it remains at a steady 13+ but later, who knows (will update as plot progresses)

**Making Up For It**

"I do it, because…" at this she paused, realising how clichéd her next statement would sound, she sighed, looked down at the coffee cup in front of her, swirling the black liquid slightly, "because I hope that my efforts will make the streets safer for when my daughter grows up, make the streets safer for her now." She knew it sounded crass, knew it sounded like every other CSI with children, but it was true. She looked over at her companion, pools of brown not only heard her, but understood. "Why do you do it Sara? Why do you keep pushing yourself? To prove yourself?" Catherine's brow furrowed. She always assumed it was because of the teacher-student relationship Sara had once shared with Grissom, that she was still trying to be top of the class, but her recent actions had began to make her think otherwise. She now saw a different Sara Sidle, one who was fighting her own demons, demons Catherine did not understand.

"No." She was determined on this point, "At first maybe." She stopped looking at Catherine, and began to look past her. Catherine knew she was losing her,

"Is it Grissom?" She asked bluntly, knowing this at least would pull at her attention. Sara looked at her again. She stifled a laugh in her throat, almost choking on her coffee, "No, not anymore. At first, maybe, I think I still felt that whole student thing. It was difficult to separate it at first. But not anymore." She breathed heavily, as if a weight had been lifted from her chest. Catherine wouldn't let it slip that easily.  
"That doesn't answer my question though does it?" She leaned in, as if sharing some kind of secret, a naughty smile playing around her lips "Why do you do it?" Sara couldn't look at her, she turned her head down and to the left. She was smiling, one Catherine recognised, when she was pursing her lips to try and hide the beam that covered her face, the look always lit up her face. Sara unconsciously did it if she was complimented or embarrassed. Catherine couldn't help but smile, she had caused that look on her face.

"When I was at College, I did a little freelance work for the San Francisco police force. I remember one case, at a home for the elderly," Sara again looked through Catherine as if she was watching herself re-examine the scene, the smile had gone, but the light was still there "it looked like a 'smash and grab' gone wrong. An old lady had woken up, we never found out why, and she was hit in the face repeatedly with a metal lamp. Killed after the first few blows." Sarah grimaced, remembering the dark welts that had covered the sallow cheekbones on the woman's face. "The police tracked a suspect: Hernando Valdez, down in Santa Maria, selling jewellery on the underground market. He was so goddamn confident. He had rights to be, we had no prints, no bodily fluid, no shoe prints. Nothing." Sara shook her head, she hated people. Catherine smiled, knowing how hard Sara would have been on the guy, even as a college student Catherine knew she would have been a hard ass. "He kept saying he'd never been in the city in his life, had rarely left his home town. We searched his home, his truck, his warehouse, everywhere. I so wanted to nail the guy. I was so sure. It took me weeks, but I finally got him. You know how?" Sara looked directly into her eyes, the pride evident in them. Catherine smiled.

"How?"

"We never did find any shoe prints, but I found faeces on the bottom of the suspects running shoes. So I went back to the area, knocked on a few doors. Turns out a few houses down from the home, the owners had a dog." At this her lips turned upward, she looked up again at Catherine, seeing that knowing glimmer, "They gave me permission to extract the dogs DNA and after a little LCN work on the original evidence I got a match." Catherine beamed, always the perfectionist she thought.

"I take it Valdez is still in jail?" She couldn't stop smiling at her.

"Exactly where he should be." She still hadn't answered the question, not directly anyway.

"So… this answers my question, how?" Sara's smile faded, she lifted her mug to her lips again, taking a small sip.

"Her sister was at the same home, I promised her I'd find out who had taken her sister away from her." At this she paused, taking another, larger drink of coffee.

"And you gave her that piece of mind?" Catherine did not understand, it showed, her brows furrowed. Sara did not answer instantly, she looked towards the ground beside Catherine's feet.

"She died, heart failure, a week before we were able to arrest Valdez." Suddenly she understood, despite putting the criminal behind bars, it wasn't enough for her. She spent all her days making up for what she considered a mistake. Nothing was ever enough for Sara, Catherine wondered if anything ever would be. Time to delve a little deeper, she decided.

"Nothings ever enough for you is it?" She tried to say it casually, without any sub meaning. Placing her coffee down on the table Sara knew that Catherine had meant exactly what she said, despite the tone. She scoffed slightly, gasping at the question. Over the last few months she had begun to see Catherine as a friend, not just a colleague. Sometimes she thought even felt there was chemistry between them, catching the sideways glances, the nervousness on contact, she could swear that sometimes she openly flirted with her. However, she assumed it was her mind playing tricks, seeing what she wanted to see. Now however, she couldn't even understand her.

"What the hell does that mean?" She couldn't help but stare. Catherine was evading her gaze. "How can you even say that? I just try to make up for my mistakes. You can't blame me for trying to do that?" Catherine sighed,

"I didn't mean it to sound like that Sara, but… you caught the guy, and this woman, wherever she is, she'll know. You need to find a new reason to keep going, you can't spend you're life making up for it."

"Like what huh?" Her voice was getting louder, it often did so when she was defensive. Catherine noted this, and began to look around, people were staring at them like hey were two lovers quarrelling. She moved to stand up, picked up her mug with one hand, downing the coffee and bending low into Sara, still seated opposite her,

"Come on, let's get a real drink."

They walked in stony silence, with enough distance between them to reflect their anger.

"Here, this is a good bar, we'll be able to have a real chat." Catherine looked towards the doorway of a bar, Sara turned to face her colleague,

"Look Catherine, if all you're gonna do is lecture me, I'd rather keep walking and just go home. God I can drink there!" Catherine didn't miss a beat,

"Fantastic idea, let's go to your place." Sara looked at her, confused, she hadn't expected that reaction. Catherine's resolve was like steel. Sara just shrugged, throwing her hands up slightly.

"Fine, come on." Sara turned and began to walk away, Catherine, smiling to herself followed, her hands deep in her pockets


End file.
